TV … and whats left of it

I have friends who have done reality TV, and friends who have done other sorts of work in television, and from what I hear…the pay is shit. I use to have this belief, that if you were on TV, you were doing ok. The camera was reserved for people with star appeal…and I want to stress “was”. But now, with the advent of YouTube and the internet in general, any clown with a decent connection speed and a willingness to expose themselves taking a cock up their ass, or breaking a limb pulling some jackass stunt or just acting like an outpatient can get a little air-time… no talent required.

I mean I guess it takes some menial amount of talent to know how to operate a camera, a computer, and lets not forget how to navigate them internets, yeah sure… I’ll give you that. I guess it depends on how you use the word “talent”, and lets face it, when referring to this current generation, the word “talent” should always be used in quotes… along with “work” and “friends” (Facebook anybody).

What that leaves us with however is that being on TV…ain’t shit. Nobody gives a shit if you do the weather; did you do it while eating shit? No? Well some white trash from bum fuck nowhere did, and he didn’t hesitate, didn’t gag, nor did he skip a beat. He gave the entire forecast while gulping down a chocolate shit shake and he did all professional-like. And the best part is that we can pay him in food stamps, that or credit at K-mart.

Seriously, the corporate big wigs have already got wind of this, and that is why roughly %80 of the people you see on TV get paid fuck-all, and %5 make some obscene amount. The remaining %15 …I have no clue about…maybe they are D-listers. You never really hear about B or C-listers. Just A-listers and D-listers. What about the F-listers? I’ll bet F-listers are real… they are probably the ones who are practically blackballed from the industry, like Mickey Rourke…Yeah not knowing your lines and/or being piss drunk when and if you show up for work will definitely get you on the F-list.

I honestly think it’s only a matter of time before they just start out-sourcing the local news to Mexico, and it wont even be in English. If some family in rural Indiana wants to catch up on local events, they will have to tune into some sweat shop in Tijuana were a Mexican cattle farmer will be sweating his balls off because there obviously wasn’t room in the budget for A/C. Feathers will be flying all over the place and sounds of chickens screaming they’re last scream will echo in the back because naturally the company thought it would be best for everyone’s pocketbooks if the news desk split overhead costs with the local slaughterhouse.

They won’t even have any writers, Jose will have to just read off the news banner at the bottom of the screen. All the money in this budget…will go to advertising. Hell the adverts will be in Hi-Definition, that’s where all the money always goes. Whatever happens in this economy, no matter how many times the market spins out of control and crashes and burns right thru all that is holy, there will always be plenty of money for advertising. Who needs food or housing? Man that shit is the past, and fuck health care or education… that’s the first place the budget gets cut.

There aren’t many rights left in this country, but you can bet your sweet ass the right to high quality, grade A, world class advertising will always be one of them.

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~ by thmjklmstrymn on July 7, 2010.

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